Let’s review the book; “BEEN A VIRGIN IS NOT ENOUGH” by Chadia Mathurin
As it has been the custom on Micahreviews, we would be doing a comprehensive review of the book and this would be really comprehensive and very helpful, smiles. You can read about the author here: About Chadia Mathurin
This book was written as a sequence to a blog post on her blog chadiamathurin.com, with the same title as this book, she was a regular university student 22 years of age, who at the time as a virgin got a pressing in her spirit by the Holy Spirit(this is not to say “non-virgins cannot be led by the Holy Spirit, we are equally loved by God, Halleluyah!), she was at the age of taking crucial decisions, then she began to think, oh wow! I am a Virgin!!! Wow!! Quite a very great feat and achievement at that her age in our generation today. But there was an issue, the issues was that she was still feeling an emptiness, she was not feeling satisfied even in her decision to say No to premarital sex.
Because it’s not even about not having sexual intercourse but been pure! It’s not about sexual abstinence!( Yes, you read that right, abstinence from premarital sex is only a part of sexual purity)
Sexual Purity is the real deal!!!! It is more that not having sexual intercourse, it is more!!!
The first point from the book is it doesn’t now matter if you’ve had sex before or had not had sex, never been kissed, never been fondled, never been ‘touched’ and all. Because what Gods demands from us is not even just been virgins but been sexually pure!
As a primary, secondary or technical Virgin, what God demands is to be sexually pure, sexologists have agreed upon research that sex starts from the mind so telling us that sex is not just about the tangible sexual intercourse.
Been sexually impure starts from the thoughts, getting into compromising situations, reading and watching materials that fills the mind with thoughts of sex, it’s making you to be sexually impure even if you are not acting on it. It’s nothing but sexual impurity !
Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life Proverbs 4:23 (NCV) :
Let’s talk about the three types of virgins:
Primary virgins – Male and Females that has never had sexual intercourse also known as coitus.
Secondary virgins – You’ve had sex before but you have made a decision now in Christ and affirms No Sex again Until Marriage
Technical Virgins – People that were forcefully engaged in a sexual activity by abuse from rape or under the influence of drugs
I’d like to restate as we continue that it’s great to be sexually celibate, or to be a Virgin, it’s okay to say I’m not going to have sex until I am ready to get married. But what God really wants is to be sexually pure, of what benefit is it, if you’re not engaged in coitus but your mind is filled with all thoughts and imaginations of sex.
A lesson I’ve learnt is to keep your decision to remain sexually pure, what is your reason? Why do you want to stay a virgin in any of the types listed above. If the reason is because the boyfriend is not rich enough to ‘give’ your body, it means when a richer one comes it would be access granted……
Your decision to be sexually pure must be backed by a reason that is even greater than the enjoyment or the pleasure you can derive from the sexual activity.
It is my sincerest hope and deepest prayer that as you read that you will be challenged to step up your purity watch, why stroll around the pool in a party when you don’t want to get wet? I pray that you will find answers to your questions. I pray that you will be floored with revelation and that your purity journey and more largely your life will NEVER be the same.
Moving to Page 62, and we trust God to give us an understanding of how He wants His words to guide us and help us see reasons why we should desire that He is glorified in our daily lives.(Amen)
Now, let me properly ask, why are you deciding to be celibate, Why are you deciding to abstain from ungodly acts? Why are you choosing to remain sexually pure? Is it because your mentor said you should because he/she tried it and now has a successful marriage ? Is it because you think it’s morally right? What really is the reason driving this decision about your sexual activeness?
Reading this book and having studied some other books on sexuality, I have come to understanding that some beliefs are totally wrong and are just a means of instilling fear in people, there is a common belief that ‘if you have sex outside the confines of marriage, that you won’t enjoy the sex or reach orgasm’, another one is ‘if you have sex outside marriage and it results in a child, that the child won’t be successful’. I make bold to tell you that it’s not true! Beyond all these things like ‘fallacies’ there should be a reason beyond to for taking a decision not to have sex before you get married. There is no greater reason but such that you know and understand that sex was created to be an act that God created to be done within the bond of two married people, a husband and his wife, and that everything we do should be done to the glory of God, our wait should be because we love God and we want to obey His commandments, we need to come to this level where our greatest satisfaction comes from intimacy with God, getting to a point of I’d give anything just to obey His commandments.
Obey the only One that has loved you with everlasting love even when you hated Him by disobeying Him, He still loves and cares for you, why not reciprocate by obeying Him through your actions and inactions.
Seeking satisfaction and pleasure from sex is putting ourselves in a position where we don’t desire God to fill us and give us true happiness and true pleasure,nothing including sex cannot give you sustainable pleasure, they cannot last, do it God’s way and have a life of unstoppable pleasure. Seeking for pleasure from sex is what has pulled some of our friends into the chains of masturbation, because fellow humans has not given the satisfaction that they need so they resort to other means by ‘giving’ themselves sex as it is defined ‘the way and to the measure they want it’. I like to restate here that nothing can truly satisfy in the long term, a widely accepted law, the law of diminishing marginal utility states that ”that as customer consumes more and more of a particular product that the utility or pleasure they derive from the use of each additional unit of that product decreases until there is no more pleasure to be derived”This principle can be applied directly to this case of masturbation or addiction to sex. Then when there is no longer pleasure to derived the individual gets to a point of committing suicide, so what’s the point afterall ?
There is a very brilliant illustration the author Chadia Mathurin used in the book in the Old testament of the bible of the High Priest entering into the holy of holies.
We see the woman or lady in this book as the temple of God which is a sacred place, a place where not anyone enters but the high priest and even if the high priest must enter, he must be purified for the periods leading to when he will enter the temple.
There is a place in the temple where the High Priest(not just any priest actually) enters, it is the place of utmost intimacy with God, it is a place where decisions and answers are granted. Now we relate entering the holy of holies to vaginal intercourse.
In accessing the holy of holies of the temple, there are several ‘hurdles’ to cross to get access to the holy of holies as it is called the holy of holies(there are a lot of places but this place is of great sacredness, Now in the act of having sex as I understand, some females only have sex with someone that can connect to them emotionally, physically, e.t.c (the hurdles). One of the things the high priest goes to the holy of holies to do is testify on behalf of himself that he is clean and without blemish that is he has attained the status and met the requirements to enter into the holy of holies because not meeting this requirements would mean death that is, he would die right there in the act of pleading for the people, same with a man that is having sex in a ‘place’ where he is not the high priest(husband) of.
Dear sisters reading this blog, I want you to see your body as the temple of God which it is, it is not for just anybody, it is a place of great intimacy where a lot of things happen maybe not immediately visible in the natural but triggered and set in motion right there in the spirit, A lot of stories have been said to mystify this act of not having sex with only your husband, some true some not true but in all, let God be true, your body is the temple of God, imagine carrying where God the creator and Father of the universe to have illicit sex , just imagine but I urge you carry yourself with that mindset ‘I am wonderfully and beautifully created in the image of God, my body is the temple of God and any brother that wants to have access to me must first be approved of my Father’. God is giving us understanding(Amen)
My fellow brothers, we are God’s heritage and people’s time we have intercourse we are attesting that we are the ‘priest’ of the temple and have attained the status to enter the ‘holy of holies’ of a woman because if not what happens to the high priest in the Old testament is automatic death, now in this case of sexual intercourse it might not be physical death but a death in the spirit, death of a special gift, death of a talent for example if the plan of God was to make you one of the most influential persons on the planet but pleasure of some minutes causes that plan to go down, if you ask me I’d say it is not and can never be worth it! and do not forget that ‘as far the heavens are to the earth, are His thoughts from ours’ and ‘His thoughts toward us are thoughts of good and never of evil, to give us an expected end’ in His will. So walk with the consciousness that if you have sexual intercourse with a woman without been her ‘priest’ you will enjoy yourself but could it be the plan of God to make you the next Jeff Bezos that will be thwarted. A lot of people are on the streets today suffering because of the seeds they planted in their youths then some assume it’s a ‘village- people’(a common-term we use in Africa when there is a spiritual attack against someone) arrangement at that time that enjoyments wouldn’t even matter any more.
If we think of our boyfriend of girlfriend’s bodies as the holy of holies where God dwells, we would take the decision of waiting till everyone has fulfilled their part and met the requirements depending on the existing culture of the place, sex before marriage is not to be taken lightly at all there are a lot of things attached, blood is attached, it’s a known fact that when a man’s urinogenital organ(the penis) gets erect it is filled with blood, it’s not yet a fact for the erection in females and it’s the same thing with the priest he is ordained in the old testament by sprinkling of blood on his garment, so it’s more than the present ‘enjoyment’ that’s why the first time a person should have sex is between a husband and his wife and if you’ve has sex and not married, make a decision consciously to put an end to it today. ”You can contact me, I’d be happy to walk the journey with you and be your physical accountability partner”
In conclusion, If you are reading and you’ve entered the holy of holies illicitly without been the high priest or the temple of God in you has been defiled, be rest assured that, God our Father is a God of restoration, He loves you just as anyone that has been a chaste Virgin and can guide you back to been sexually pure. He is the One that can restore the years the cankerworms has eaten, He is a God is restoration Joel 2:25 has a promise of God’s restoration for us and Jesus Our Savior also performed miracles of restoration in Matt 12:13. Reach out to Him, the good news is, He is eagerly expecting you to return to Him.
I hope this blessed you, God is working in and through us in Jesus name(Amen)
There is so much more to learn from this book, so i would advise that you get a copy of this book and and it to have a direct understanding of this subject, You can get it from: